Valentine Jokes
This page contains Valentine jokes and Valentine humor!
Be My Valentine
A man walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged, balding man
standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright
pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle
and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity gets the better of him. He goes up to the balding man and asks
him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards
signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!
What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"
What do squireels give for Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.
What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor
who falls into the ocean?
One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
Because they needed to be ad-dressed!
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"
Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!
Best Valentine's Day jokes. Have a fun with our joke page.